I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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