Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
