so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
