its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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