Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
