Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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