I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
