you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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