Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
