He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
