Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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