Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The ass gains better be worth it
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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