I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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