Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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