you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
