dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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