yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
