Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
