is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
