I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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