Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
