Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
