Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
now i know why i became what i already was.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
