remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
