I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do vagina's smell?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
