The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
