Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
