all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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