Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Pooping to opera.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
