: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Found your dick twin last night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I had to cum in my sink.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
