dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
