Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
