i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
