Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my shit smells like andre
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Randomize
