Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
