i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
