Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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