why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
