went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
