I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
