STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
