When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
