Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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