No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
