Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
the liver wants what the liver wants
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
