If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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