is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
