i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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