you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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