His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
