That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
