We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
