Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
